When a child custody issue becomes a terrible tragedy!

Unless you're among those who pay NO ATTENTION to the world around you, you obviously know by now that on Friday evening, (May 23, 2014), in the Santa Barbara area of Southern California, a kid named "Elliot Rodger" decided that he'd had enough of life's tribulations, and went on a killing spree, to punish those he perceived as his enemies.

The tragedy that took place in Isla Vista, the small community that houses Santa Barbara College, was just another in a trending series of homicidal incidents that America must learn to prevent, but the need is for a deep understanding of WHY these are happening, before anyone can honestly say they are concerned.  Hopefully, someone will understand this analysis, and take action before they become involved on a more intimate level with similar circumstances.

Elliot Rodger was a true victim of his circumstances.  I've been screaming out at the system for years, trying to teach, plead, and beg them to understand the end result of the culmination of poor choices and decisions that are forced upon a child by people who think the "cookie-cutter approach" to raising children is the right answer.

After spending many hours reading the written manifesto of Elliot Rodger, I conclude this life was one where he would have had no idea how to arrange the facts in a way to make it anything other than this outcome.  The case of Elliot Rodger can only be described as "The Perfect Storm."  

Everything he explains would be the exact recipe for a scenario ending in such tragedy.  Elliot lived a life of privilege and instant gratification.  He was never allowed to fail.  He was never taught to grow, learn, and develop into any sort of personal integrity beyond those two traits -- entitlement and personal satisfaction with every single thing crossing his mind -- never being allowed outside his comfort zone for any length of time.  He repeats, over and over, how his biological mother had such a "sweet and accommodating spirit," going above and beyond, in order to fix or to allow him to abstain from, anything that made him uncomfortable, or to fulfill his every desire for anything he wanted, as far as material wishes.

But, his father made him wait, and he developed great disdain for that.  He speaks frequently about how weak his father was, and he had a huge distaste for his step-mother.  Although he was correct in his analysis that she had no right to attempt to impose discipline upon Elliot, he failed to recognize his own need for same.  His writings indicate an overt narcissism beyond that of an exigent level.  Every single thought was about his being accepted and adored with affection by everyone he encountered that he had any level of attraction to, whatsoever.  When his perceptions failed to materialize, he went into his mental funk, and his idea that he was entitled to their affections was a theme that ran throughout the entire 141 pages of his "manifesto."

At the age of Eight, his father introduced him to video games, by buying him a Nintendo 64®.   This was a short bonding period between he and his father, but once he was allowed free reign over the decisions about gaming, it went downhill from there.  It wasn't long before he was graduating to more and more of the action games, and then into the violent video games, via War Craft, then World of Warcraft, and beyond.  Elliot even says, "No one will ever understand the extent to which the video games have effected my life!"   Drinking alcohol and violent video games were THE major part of his College Life.  For this reason, he says he cannot trust anyone!

The addiction to violent video games stops the 25 year development of the human brain, and specifically effects the frontal lobe.  The frontal lobe is where decision-making ability is found, as well as impulse control. Once the failure, or interruption, of the timely development of the frontal lobe occurs, there is no going back. Decision-making and impulse control are lost.  Immaturity is the dominant feature in these people, in all aspects of their lives, and we've all seen them.

THERE HAS NEVER BEEN A MASS-SHOOTING INCIDENT IN RECENT AMERICAN HISTORY, (since about 1979), THAT DID NOT INVOLVE PERPETRATION BY AN ADDICTED GAMER.  Anyone who disputes this, is welcome to attempt to provide well-documented evidence to the contrary.  (SEE: "On Killing" by Lt. Colonel David Grossman -- ISBN # 0-316-33011-6 and "Stop Teaching Our Kids to Kill" by Lt. Col. Dave Grossman and Gloria DeGaetano ISBN # 0-609-60613-1)

We haven't even begun to reap the harvest of the effects of violent video gaming on American Society.  Law enforcement just doesn't get it.  The psychology/psychiatry industry is too busy with generating income from pseudo-diagnoses, and the news media is oblivious!

Elliot cannot even remember most of the names of the various "Nannies, " provided for him, over his lifetime.  He speaks to the pain of losing some of the Nannies that he was attached to, or cared about.  This had an effect on his feeling toward "human-replacement," and was, again, caused by a lack of frontal lobe activity. Repeated loss makes it difficult to trust anyone, or anything.  Everything is temporary.  According to Elliot, you can simply replace it.  If you want to eliminate someone, or something, (little differences), you can simply replace them or it.  He simply felt that people were disposable as a replacement commodity, hence his failure to recognize the value of human life, around him. The Human Spirit can adjust to most anything, but without the basic steps of learning, growth and proper development, having been met, the perception of these things often comes out scrambled.  This was Elliot's lot in life.

He would become angry if he was somehow attracted to an approaching strranger, (both male and female, but mostly female), and his smile was not returned, or met with a complete failure to acknowledge his presence.  He became humiliated, through his impression that they were "dissing him."

Elliot's family moved from residence to residence many times over his young life, this was an escalation with the divorce of his parents, and the Judge's Decree that he spend 50% of his time, with each of his biological parents.  This is a devastation on ANY child, to say nothing of a child who is lacking in proper steps of development.  After being ejected from his father's home by his step-mother, (another mind-fracturing event), Elliot continued the trend, because this became a normalcy in his life.  He changed colleges, dorm rooms, apartments, room mates, and various other living accommodations for the final years of his young life. This mobility became his normal state of living.  He fought with almost ALL of his room mates, over the most trivial of matters, even performing a citizen's arrest on one of them.

With no sense of place, or self, Elliot had no choice but to flounder in his social life and self-development.   

On his thirteenth Birthday, Elliot was awarded by his father, by an adult approval and encouragement to "have a beer with ol' Dad!"  What a great idea that turned out to be, as another way to become more attractive to women.  We all know how much most women love drunks! . . .  and Gamers!

All of the preceding events, (and many I haven't mentioned), over the twenty-two years of Elliot's life, were the end result of a culmination of choices made for Elliot, and choices he made, himself.  Life is about choices!  Elliot's life came to an end after a series of choices he had no control over.  The lack of frontal lobe development, coupled with his mismanaged life-alterations, through no fault of his own, he finished out his legacy on the control end of a gun, pointed at the warped perceptions of his having been disrespected, and not recognized as the Aristocratic person he was convinced he had been born to be.

Elliot's father, in continuing the poor decisions of his past, wants to blame "The existence of Guns," for this debacle. Elliot's step-mother is very Blessed to be alive, because I would have profiled her being in grave danger, had I read his "manifesto" before his death.

Let's not forget that Elliot learned this behavior behind the very video distraction he learned from Dad.  Let's not forget that the divorce, as well as all that it brought, played a role, too.  And, let's not lose sight of the fact that HALF of Elliot's victims were killed on the sharp edge of a KNIFE -- not a gun.  If Dad's going to use his infinite wisdom to call for a ban on guns, he needs to call for a ban on knives, and probably spoiled children who are given BMWs, as a reward for some tantrum they throw, to get their way.

My advice to both his biological parents is, "You teach people how to treat you.  You didn't do your job teaching Elliot.   Don't offer advice to the rest of us, based on your track record."   And, as a final thought on Elliot Roger, I noted that he used only one swear word, throughout his manifesto, and he mentioned God NOT ONCE.  Maybe that was the missing element, ehh?

Cindy Sorensen